Your Work E-mail is What?
• I’m employed at a computer security company and have a colleague whose name is M. Alware. His e-mail address is malware@company.com.
• My ex-boss’s name is R. Stone. His e-mail was stoner@company.co.in.
• My name is James …
A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.
“Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.
“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”
We have a winner. Nice one hamedshh.
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl says “The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named after soda pops. The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. The third I called Jack Daniels. Then the other girl interrupts saying ”Hold on a minute. Isn’t Jack Daniels hard liquor?” The girl smiles and says “Yes it is”
Hamedshh, you’re really starting to get the hang of this humor thing! Thanks!
I hope this will help:
On most battery operated toys for sale in stores, the packaging always has a message printed on it: “Batteries Not Included”.
a kid was asked:
name the creature who gives us meat, milk, yoghurt’s, shoes and clothes
the kid replied : ”My DADDY”
I m a killer . i kill people for money.
But you are my friend.
I KILL YOU FOR FREE.
Future plans of children’s:
Teacher asks children, what do you wish to do in future?
david : I want to be a pilot.
john : I want to be a doctor.
maria : I want to be a good mother.
hamed : I want to help maria.
What a pal!
Woman: Why are you crying, child?
Child: I’m lost.
Woman: Where do you live?
Child: With my Mum.
Woman: Where does your mother live?
Child: With my dad.
Woman: Where does your dad live?
Child: In our house.
Woman: Where’s your house?
Child: I don’t know.
Customer: Hello Sir!
Seller: Hi! can I help you?
Customer: I’m looking for the calendar of the next year please?
Seller: What kind of calendar would you prefer?
Customer: Some calendar with a lot of holidays in it.
Beggar: Sir, please help me. Give me some money please.
Man: I have left my wallet at home, wait till noon I will come back and bring money for you then.
Beggar: No need to. These credit dealings have put me in this regrettable condition.
An addict was reading a newspaper, meanwhile he saw a part which had been written about the dangers and disadvantages of smoking. He was so frightened that decided not to read newspaper again.
A stingy man together with his family were invited for dinner by one of their relatives. At the time of dinner his son asked him a glass of water, But the stingy man slapped him in the face and said: ’You can drink water at home now Its better for you to seize the opportunity and eat chicken
Good one 
Translation software at work
A picture is worth a thousand words
a professional doctor came to a city in which there are a lot of unprofessional doctors working in clinics.
after a while he became the first person due to his massive capability and the other doctors felt like they cant tolerate his situation.
they founded a syndicate and gathered together to consult over him in their forum to find a way to overthrow him.
when debating one of them said i can do this, so they all accepted him to do the task
and the man entered into the professional doctor clinic and said: “hi doctor i have the olfactory problem and my nose doesn’t work at all
professional doctor told his attendant: miss Anna, give me the can 9
”what should i do?” he said
“now smell that” doctor said
“oh shit this can is full of shit” he said
“Sir your illness was cured and now you can smell as well and you must pay 100 dollar for it ” doctor said
he paid the doctor the cash and came back to the forum and related whatever happening in the clinic
they told him to come back to the clinic and tell the doctor about a problem in the brain in a way that the doctor isn’t gonna treat it and he went there
“hi doctor i have memory problem and cant remember anything” he said
professional doctor told his attendant: miss Anna, give me the can 9
“again can 9, should i smell shit again ” he said
“Sir your illness was cured and your brain now works correctly and you must pay 100 dollar for it ” doctor said
he paid the doctor the cash and came back to his forum any related whatever happening in the clinic
they told him to come back to clinic again and tell the doctor a sexual problem and they said we think doctor will not be able to treat it and he went to clinic
entering into the clinic saying i’v got a sexual problem
again the professional doctor told his attendant: miss Anna, give me the can 9
“i fuc……k you mom, doctor, whatever i say, you bring me the can 9” he said
“Sir your sexual illness is now cured and your sex is now hot thus you want to fuc……k my mom and unfortunately she is dead, you must pay 100 dollar for it ” doctor said
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.
They fall you into a trap!!!