Do not beat the kitchen cabinet. You will both damage the cabinet and hurt your hand. Talking from experience.
It may sound stupid, but when you realize you’re but a speck of dust in the universe and nothing really matters, it’s easy. Not to mention that I’m more fortunate than probably 90% of other people on this Earth and my stupid issues don’t compare at all to their hardships. In terms of how good we have it in mankind’s history, we’re probably in the 99.5% range. We have it good here.
Short-term, I rage a little but always catch myself when I realize that my problems and/or anger doesn’t mean a damn thing.
It’s like when you’re driving to work and someone cuts you off. Does that piss you at work for hours? It used to for me. But then I try to think about the above and it all works out.
Serenity now… insanity later.
Heat of the moment anger is still the toughest to deal with for most people. Training oneself to take at least 5 deep breaths to calm down seems to be one of the best methods to avoid doing something stupid and regretful.
I just lose it. 
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Like everything, Practice.
1st…. Don’t react.
2nd…. Take time to evaluate.
3rd…. Air out situation face to face calmly if possibly.
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I have made it to 2nd but 3rd is rarely calm. 
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Exactly.
One day when I was little I tried being angry like I saw other people do — they seemed to get some sort of benefit from yelling or hitting things. So I tried it. But it just left me feeling even worse, and it made my hand hurt. So I decided that method isn’t for me. One experiment in a safe environment was enough learn what I needed to learn, and I’ve never tried it again.
Since then, I hardly ever feel angry… just frustrated sometimes. And if that happens, I usually just want to be alone for a while or maybe take a nap. It’s a very effective way for me to recharge and be positive again.
If anything, instead of feeling emotions too strongly, I’ve spent my life with the opposite problem… not feeling enough. So I probably have no useful advice on anger management. It takes a conscious effort for me to react to things instead of defaulting to no reaction at all. And because of being so detached, I usually gravitate toward people who are more fiery or passionate, so I can feel things vicariously through them.
As for ideas though…
The research is far from complete but if I recall correctly, researchers have found that, the more people feel each emotion, the more easily they feel it. The body grows more receptors for it, and generates more of the chemicals which attach to those receptors… so it happens more often and more intensely. This may also allow people to gradually shape their own emotional responses, by consciously making themselves feel the emotions they want to have instead of the ones they don’t. Like, by watching lots of comedies and intentionally laughing more, for example… and avoiding films about anger and vengeance.
Or, for a different idea, creative swearing can be a fun way to respond to frustration… with an emphasis on the “creative” part. One can make a game of it, like making sure never to repeat the same phrase twice, which leads into some really bizarre rabbit holes and usually turns the whole thing into humor instead of anger. It’s also a pretty effective way to expand one’s vocabulary.
Another similar method: I had a friend who dealt with anger by forcing himself to sing, which made it very hard for anyone involved to stay angry. Also, he had a really bad stuttering problem, and singing was the only way he could reliably communicate during difficult situations without tripping over his words. He could talk fine while relaxed, but during tense situations it took forever for him to get a sentence out unless he sang it. And it’s hard to be angry while singing…
What if people refuse to leave you alone?
Do you get called a robot, accused of having no emotions, or of being uncaring?
Hahaha… yes. I called those the feisty or mischievous ones. Does such company make you feel more lively?
” And because of being so detached, I usually gravitate toward people who are more fiery or passionate, so I can feel things vicariously through them.”
Every woman I have ever really gotten to know has had a “Bad Boy Phase” in her life.
Rebelling vicariously is not solely a feminine trait. Gangs or just rough guys to hang out with can be cathartic for men also. Relieves one from the responsibility for their participation. He did it, I happened to be there. Lame excuse of course.
That first one is always the tricky one.
And were you that Bad Boy? :smiling_imp:
I don’t think the reference was necessarily about “bad” behavior, though.
It could just be easier for some to “ride the waves” of emotion generated by others, rather than create them.
fap
tmi.
It may be TMI, but there’s also some pretty solid science behind it.
Usually kids are seen as emotional and unstable, like the cry-baby stereotype, but they grow out of it when they’re older. One big mechanism behind that is a change in hormone levels. People are typically more emotional when their levels are low, and more stable when their levels are high.
Additionally, people’s hormone levels go up when they have sex on a regular basis, and their levels go down when they abstain. This tends to make them more emotional and less stable during droughts, reacting to things more like children would instead of adults.
Sometimes this makes for funny headlines, like how monkeys with smaller balls scream louder, but the effect also shows up in humans — in ways which are far more serious. I probably can’t go into much detail here without getting into controversial topics, but a wide variety of organizations throughout history have used forced-abstinence as a tool to make their members more aggressive and less rational. And the practice is still used today.
Long story short… Tubercle’s suggestion is actually a pretty effective way to reduce the intensity of emotions and improve self-control.
But you will go blind.
If you out of control you have to take control first and deal with source of anger (problem). If you cant control yourself you cant solve problems. If you cant solve problems avoid them ! 
Vent your anger towards something productive, like exercise, cleaning (e.g., doing the dishes), DIY projects (e.g., modding flashlights), etc. Remind yourself what would happen if this escalates into something physical. Is it worth the trouble/financial impact (fixing a broken wall and paying the increased insurance premium)? If you lash out verbally, would you look like a raving lunatic? Does putting fear in another person that you care about make your relationship better with them, or worse? Say something like, "That made me really upset. I need a few minutes to myself to calm down. We can talk about it later". It's not easy to do these things, so challenge yourself to do them.
Depends on the person. My gf is someone who brings out the best in me. We never so much as raised our voices to each other, never ever called each other any “names”, and our only “arguments” we ever had were things like
Where do you want to go for lunch?
Don't care, you pick.
No, you pick.
No, *you* pick.
etc., and we just go to our usual place anyway.
Other people just push my buttons (intentionally) to the point where I’ll scream and wish ’em dead (and mean it), and just bring out the absolute worst in me.
There lots that can give you anger so if I’m out and about and something angers me, then I do facial expressions. I try to deflect with bewilderment and surprise techniques. Most are funny though.