Naw, Maury does the lie-detector tests and DNA tests.
Jerry brings in the 300lb lesbian strippers, the 6-toothed Eminem-wannabe that’s seeing his baby-mama and her sister and her mama, and that kind of thing.
Nah.
The real master was Morton Downey Jr.
Blowing cigarette smoke in the chicks face and calling her a pig.
Chair fights? Ohh yeah, he set the bar and the blueprint.
Gonna watch some right now for old times sake!
He’s wonderful!
Working in agriculture in a agricultural based town, nothing is different, except for the lack of TP, and the distancing maze at Walmart.
I’m beginning to suspect there’s going to be government subsidies, tax credits, and mandates regarding bidet installs.
DECORATING…………NOT. 
adding to my “really, really clean house” above:
we now have really, really clean guns, too.
I have been playing a lot of disc golf . For a while I was playing every day , but I started getting sore . Now I play every other day . My game is definitely improving .
My grown children are both out of work right now and they are glad to come home to some good home-cooked meals .
Looking forward to getting back in my barber shop , my customers are texting me and getting fed up with their long hair .
I’m not worried about any long term changes to my job , the second oldest profession doesn’t change much .
Muto———> I took two aaa flashlights and taped them onto Roomba the robotic vacuum cleaner, one facing forward and one looking back. With lights out Roomba is cut lose in the living room to carry on with its ordered chaos. And what an hysterical light show! Most eerie is when it spins around under a sofa or chair. The dogs are not amused and exit stage left. Cheep thrills while the floor gets vacuumed. Sequestration has never been so much fun, ha! Not really…… So my thinking is, when it comes to pandemics (my first one):
Stress makes me weaker
Laughter makes me stronger
So I’m trying to laugh as much as possible, hoping to spark the immune system. Naturally I enjoy the occasional humor I get here on BLF. And some of you are off-the-wall funny sometimes! Quit your day job and do a Vegas act?
Well you got my morning off with a laugh!
Thanks for that.
That sounds amusing as hell.
Wonder what it looks like outside?
Neighbors are like WTF is going on in there?
Later!
Keith
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Nice story, and Good idea about Disk Golf. We will dig out our bags of disks and play some too. There is a small course a 2 mile bike ride away. :+1:
Please record it the next time you pull this shenanigan, it sounds gut-busting 
No one has said; “Would you do me a favor”?
My motor vehicle insurer gave me a discount for the next 6 month period. 
Not having to deal with traffic around Boston. Huge plus there. I have actually been able to get more work done, too! Finally catching up as I am the only EE where there was 2 1/4. I would subtract one of them entirely and just say 2 but. not everything he did was half-assed. Most of it was full-assed. While working from home I have been getting a lot more work done and I am at least close to caught up and saying “I will add it to my list” instead of “have you seen my list?”. Thankfully we have one tech turned manufacturing engineer who has been awesome at lessening the load.
We got a good laugh the other week when the Production VP was told that we can’t buy isopropyl or methanol right now and are running out. He asked if we could make it. He was told, no, of course. It’s hard to tell if he was serious or not. I told the production team lead afterwards he missed a good opportunity there to get a still and should have said yes lol.
It’s also been interesting observing what people are hoarding or not even touching.
-flour -suddenly everyone is a baker, but would rather starve than use gluten free flour.
Cheeze-Its bad time to have a craving.
Eggs none left, and the space usually filled with eggs consumed by rows and rows of milk that no one is buying?
-Pesto. Never seen a shelf of Pesto at BJs just empty. Both times i have gone. Nothing. Really wanted to try a kickass Grilled cheese recipe I found.
TP If you run out just jump in the shower, what’s the big deal you’re home anyways!
-shelves were full of Jerky
and the frustrating one PPE most of us are staying home…leave the PPE for the nurses THEY need it. I donated two 3m respirators with filters and a stack of pink masks from a dentist who didn’t want pink lol. Box of nitrile gloves, too. Even if they are not medical they can use them while cleaning I figured.
That's why I don't worry *too* much... in my area no one eats healthy. This is chicken and waffles country... (puke) The obesity in the community is really gross. So all I have to do is go to the health food area. No one wants to eat organic. (Thank God I do eat well!) I jettisoned the fat and sugar and with it 15 lbs. Good riddance!
Been nice going to the store during over-60 hours. Back into using my shortwave radios... better do it before things get intermittent... watching more movies.. trying not to drive each other insane... cooking more and walking dogs. (when it's not freezing out) Fewer stupid people on the roads. 
Putzing with the flashlights. 
[quote=Jack Kellar]
———————————
Jack Keller & Keith
I recorded a short clip of the flashlight modified Roomba here:
The dog’s disdain of the whole affair:
My wife’s reaction was priceless but alas, no video.
Oh god, that roomba was even funnier than I thought it would be X’D It’s like the punchline to a sci-fi comedy movie when the lights go out or they’re infiltrating an evil base.
Mine only gave 15% off of 2 months.
——————————-
Yeah, that roomba silliness went on for another 20 minutes. I’m with you, that scene could have come straight out of an old black&white sci-fi. Love those things. Their ray-guns were mostly modified flashlights since they didn’t have lasers at the time. One of my favorite old sci-fi’s was “Invasion of the Bee Girls.” Girls from outer space, that when they made love to an earth man, he died. So that was the plot, sleep with the men until they are all gone and there’s nothing left but bee girls. I’m going stir crazy. At night I dream about getting stung by a voluptuous alien. I sleep with a stun gun. This shelter thing needs to be over.