I was looking for a decent edc/tactical light and I wasn’t happy with my streamlines strong performance and I couldn’t afford a surefire , well long story short I wanted something so I could see before I picked up a firearm and pointed at something I might regret and as you can see I stuck around because like most men I love bright WOW light! But as you said 4570 stress adds a while new dimension to people’s reaction instead of trained perishable skill/muscle memory, when in better health I took a few CAN classes where everyone training had to wear LE Web gear and 50# ruck sacks run 1/4 mile full sprint , do 25 push ups and jumping jacks then try and engage in hand to hand combat using our traditional martial art training and we saw how it was impossible to use with weight , stress and physical fatigue that was a big wake up call on how “real life situations differ from traditional training is . Sorry if I went topic but I was just trying to reinforce what the OP was stating.
I am calling you out upon this one.
I’ve lived with depressive suicidal thoughts longer than members upon this forum have been alive.
If I was any other animal beyond human, we would be free to exercise compassion and end that sufferance, yet because we place ourselves upon a higher level than anything else in this universe, we legally forbid it in the vast majority of the world and attached is an immense social stigma, leaving it quite a taboo topic to discuss.
To simplfy, you are advocating for me to suffer for a lifetime in the interests of making other people feel good about themselves.
This simply is unreasonable, just as it is unreasonable to expect for you to have been able to fix your wife.
FYI, I’ve tried medical, alternative, natural and therapeutic treatment, to no avail.
There is nothing wrong with the sharing of deep thoughts, shit if humanity did it more often, perhaps a majority of the issues we experience in life would be mitigated, if not entirely eradicated.
If I’ve offended, great, it might motivate you to appreciate the emotional, virtual and mental prison people that suffer mental illness live within and why some seek and take the easy option out.
At the same time, I do respect that you find yourself in a difficult position due to something out of control of both your wife, daughter and yourself and wish you nothing but well thoughts for your daughter and yourself in your life.
Now, back to the program.
Happy Sol Invictus everyone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gInkLwYvEds (Music to enjoy sipping your favourite beverage to with the company of family/friends/the solitude you desire)
I am glad you are able to open up about it too. Also its good to see you have tried to get help. I wish my wife had done the same. Like you said it was probably unreasonable to think she could be helped. But, I would have sure tried. I can’t imagine the pain it must cause you at times. I think I was wanting to show the pain that it causes loving family & friends. Not to say in anyway that your pain is less. You brought up a very important and good view point.
Just wanted to show that there are people out there that do love you & care. Hope I helped clear up what I was saying. But, thank you for sharing your experiences. That takes great courage. If you ever need anyone to chat (or vent to) with, feel free to PM me anytime.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Ric, your wife may had sought aid prior to reaching this stage ?
May, in addition to my PM, explain and aid in understanding her actions.
You state you can not imagine the pain, yet you are living it.
One half of you is gone, forever.
A part of me is gone and no matter what avenue taken, I’m unable to obtain it back.
You lost your other half, I’ve lost the version of me that is able to enjoy life, what with all the potential that went at the same time that left my life.
Different reasons, very similar emotions.
It is what most people fail to appreciate, we know we’re not living to our potential, yet are trapped within a hollow version of ourselves and a world that is greyscale, with very little to nil escape.
I could develop this conversation further into the area of taboo, yet will leave it for another day out of respect for fellow members, as where it will go, most simply will fail to understand my intent and it is gritty, very much so.
Happy Sol Invictus everyone.
I don’t know from what ailment you suffer from and I hope your physical and mental melodies get better for you I was born with a chronic illness which as the years progressed has cause a lot of other side effects eyes kidney disease severe neuropathy several joint replacements and I got really depressed ab out 6 months ago because I could no longer physically work and my wife had to take on the role as primary income earner and to top it off I hit the dreaded donought hole and
In my prescription coverage at which point my wife had to pay 100% out of pocket for my scripts until which was at months over 3500.00$ a month until I hit the critical stage of my insurance.it was at this time I felt emotionally and physically a burden to my family and my wife and I started lashing out at my family so some counseling non narcotic antidepressants exercise modified to what I am Capable of doing and spending time praying and reading the Bible daily I just personal experience I have to treat my mind body and soul to get through I’ve had 8 close to death experiences when I have almost died UT I learned if I sit here and dwell on it and not let go I will drive e myself I to a worse depression so pray for you borked that your situations improve.
Wow…I am impressed with the honesty expressed in this thread. Too often people walk around with masks on. I have suffered from depression also. There is help. This forum is proof of that.
I want to stress also that no amount of training is enough when firearms are involved. My son is living proof of that. True story. I had just completed a NRA shotgun training/safety course w/4H. One of the subjects we discussed was watching your ammo…especially when you have different gauge shotguns. The story was told of someone somehow loading a 20 in before a 12 ga shell. 20 is smaller and of course won’t seat correctly in the magazine, but rather was pushed further up the barrel when a 12 ga shell was loaded BEHIND it, blocking the barrel with another explosive shell! Long story short…gun blew up and person was seriously hurt! Hand mangled…and I believe blinded in on eye.
Well…my family has both 20 and 12 ga shotguns. Right when I got home…I checked my 12 ga Remington 870. Guess what? There was a 20 ga shell lodged in the barrel! We were about to go dove hunting that day, and my 14 year old son was gonna use this gun. I have NO idea how it got there. I am a very safe person when it comes to guns…but tragedies can happen to anyone. Had I not checked…Lord know what would have happened. Totally freaked me out…always check your weapon before you shoot.
I am heartened to see others sharing their story.
It, if it only achieves one thing, demonstrates that otherwise normally functioning and socially integrated people are hiding burdens that weight upon their shoulders daily as they walk through life and in sharing so, it may aid others in coping/dealing with their challenges.
No one is perfect, not even I… embrace my imperfections for what they are and yours will finally have sunlight shed upon them too.
Happy Sol Invictus indeed