My life behind the scenes and Convoy...

Off-topic Chatter
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When I come on BLF and reddit I often get hostile/angry comments from people and it’s made me not really feel welcome anymore. If possible, I’d like to start fresh and have this thread to point people to so they can at least have some understanding.

I think I should talk a little about my life outside of flashlights because the above will have a lot to doing with how some past comments would have sounded. I have posted a lot on BLF about the shortcomings of Convoy, the QC issues and other things.

For the past 3 years, and up until March this year, I was very, very depressed, I was planning my suicide note video to say goodbye to family in February. What was driving my severe depression is that I have Klinefelter’s Syndrome, I have an extra X chromosome. This causes most men to suffer with depression among other things , but what had been the main drive to suicidal tendencies was infertility, being married and seeing my wife love kids and a desire for her own and not being able to do anything, feeling like I was a failure as a man. This ate me up inside terribly and so in my mind, suicide was the way for her to remarry and be happy (messed up I know), also just a feeling of total defeat in life, like health issues as well.

My state of mind, just feeling so down would have reflected in posts during that time. Convoy being something to get at a bit and complain. Having bulk orders show up with reflectors completely out of focus due to a batch change, stressed me out and added to everything else.

Thankfully, I came out of that state in March. I got some counselling and I feel great now. I had to forgive myself, I didn’t realise I had so much unforgiveness and anger towards myself. I broke down, first time my wife had ever seen me cry in 9 years we’ve been together. I was pretty good at keeping all that emotion hidden inside.

Lastly, I’m not some bitter anti-Convoy/Simon individual. I love Convoy, and Simon is an amazing guy. I’ve found the flashlights to be very solid and reliable over the years. After my QC testing I might get like one warranty claim per year. I QC test every brand I sell and I experience more warranty claims from other brands that cost much more. There are obviously issues that do need addressing, but it’s still a brand I highly recommend.

I fixed my main issue by purchasing a 3D Printer in January to design and print my own gaskets, that was my top-of-the-list issue. Overall, I’m happy with what I buy for my store.

Anyway, hopefully that clears the air.

27 Thanks
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Oh, wow, I’ve never known anyone with Klinefelter Syndrome.
However, I had a nervous breakdown thirty years ago, and I became suicidal, but I’ve been much better since then.
I mostly owe that to getting on the right mental health meds for me.
By the way, I used to be a big fan of They Might Be Giants, and they have a song called “S‐E‐X‐X‐Y” that might be about people that are XXY.
I haven’t listened to the song in quite a while, and I’m sure it could be interpreted differently, so I could be wrong about what the song is about. :thinking:

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IMHO
Some people, like me, might agree with you but they have nothing to add or they don’t feel the need of changing the world and thus comment nothing. OTOH people who disagree with you are less likely to keep silence.
This shifts the balance of opinions.

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song
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Well, that was amusing anyway lol. Never heard of the song, but it’s no wonder why it’s thought to be about that.

I’m glad, it’s a horrible state of mind to be in.

It’s actually quite common, 1 in 500 have it, they just aren’t aware until they try for children. KS also is why I’m so tall at 6’5, whereas the rest of my family is short.

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How many clicked on this thread and thought to themselves “what’s his issue this time?” lol.

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So, you gots a Xtra chromosome. Wut? Yawannafydabowdit? Welcome back to the land of the living.

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Damm,

I only know your YT videos, can’t remember seeing you arround (I’m mostly a casual and follow the forum from time to time).
Glad to hear you are better. I also went through a bad depression that lasted forever years ago.

Best wishes.

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I’m blessed to hear you are out of all of that! You’re here for a reason (beyond flashlight stuff of course) and it takes courage to share very personal things like this. Suicide is never thr answer. I will say though as someone who has overcome many, many mental and physical challenges in life (only brother killed in Iraq War, brainstem tumor survivor here, among other things), being able to tell your story well is a huge part of recovery and healing. Acknowledging your reality (what ‘is’) is step one, then forgiving, and so on. My faith in Jesus is what really got me out of the dark i to the light! Praying for your continued healing and abundant life! Oh, and keep the content coming. I enjoy your very thorough and detailed reviews.

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Aha, so that’s why They Might Be Giants… :zany_face:

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Honestly, I thought you took a tour of the Convoy factory or something and were “reporting back”…

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Thank you for having the courage to share this, i am genuinely touched by your post. First and foremost, I am just happy to read that you are in a better place now. The strength it takes to confront those feelings, to seek counseling, and to break down those walls is immense. Please know that this internet stranger is sincerely glad that you’re still here. Truly hope this thread serves as the fresh start you’re looking for, you deserve to feel welcome in these communities.

7 Thanks
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I’m really sorry to hear that You had terrible 3 years of life - but also glad that time is past now and You’re feeling fine.
I must say it’s brave to write about Your personal live and problems online.
Wish You all the best :+1:

Also thank You for all the review videos on YT, they help me decide what light to buy :+1:

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You don’t have to apologize, I agree with you. I do not agree with all the people who say that "convoy flashlights are for enthusiasts and people who are enthusiasts, should know that convoy flashlights get way hotter than 50 Celsius and if the Conwoy flashlight burns up it’s a user error "

This phrase “enthusiast grade” flashlights is literally made up.

How come Fireflylite do not burn up?

This is what people were telling me when my s21d burnt up, both here on blf and reddit.

I even got banned on Reddit for arguing with people.

People telling me that it was my fault for putting a battery in a flashlight, turning it on and leaving it on for 5 minutes, before it burnt the f up

I wish I could block people on here permanently but there’s no block feature unfortunately on this platform

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I think I figured out the initial problem described in the original post.
In the original post, reasonable perspective is expressed concerning Convoy/Simon.
The problem is that reasonable perspective isn’t always expressed perfectly in the Convoy thread, and that’s why some people get upset.
Of course, I could be wrong, just like I was with the S-E-X-X-Y lyrics. :man_shrugging:

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Good to hear you coming out of the storm, been in the same shoes as yours more or less; i wish you all good things for the future.
Cheers :diya_lamp:

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I enjoy you and your contributions on here unfortunately it does seem like BLF has been getting some frat boy like behaviors.