what is wrong with me
is i laughed at that.
This one is an actual true story.
Years ago when the WWW was young, I got a call.
Me, yes this is tech support, how can I help you?
Her, in a quivering voice:
I think I broke the InternetâŚ
Me, trying to be jovial, in a fun voice:
So, it was you?
Her:
Oh My God! ClickâŚ
All the Best,
Jeff
So you spoke with Kim Kardashian after that infamous incident :laughing:
The non-disclosure agreement prevents me from saying 
My brother worked at a computer store in the 90âs. One of his co-worker got a call from a lady.
Her husband had broke the cup holder that came with the new computer, would it be repaired under warranty? And could they replace it with a larger one, they love the convenience but barely any of their cups fit properlyâŚ.
It was the CD-ROM drive.
Reminds me of the young lady that tried to force a CD in my 5Âźâ drive.
A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly the recently married coupleâs house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
âWhat are you doing?â she asked.
âIâm waiting for Jeff to come home from work,â the daughter-in-law answered.
âBut youâre naked!â the mother-in-law exclaimed.
âThis is my love dress,â the daughter-in-law explained.
âLove dress? But youâre naked!â
âJeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy.â
The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch.
âWhat are you doing?â he asked.
âThis is my love dress,â she replied.
âNeeds ironing,â he saysâ âWhatâs for dinner?
Heh, I had a co-worker do that with a document CD she got in the mail (an AS/400 RPG system programmer, unfamiliar with pcs). She was so embarrassed, she didnât want anyone around her to tell me what sheâd done, but the laughter attracted my attentionâŚ
according to the box
of macaroni and cheese,
i am a family of four.
You could invoke whistleblower protections 
Back when the CD as cup holder was a recurring theme, I decided to make happen.
I looked through my piles of CD drives and found the sturdiest one.
I put a hunk of plastic inside to make a flat shelf and took out some of the guts to keep it from complaining when it closed with the âshelfâ installed.
Mounted it in a tower case with just the power connected.
Put a label âCUP HOLDERâ on the outside. And an arrow pointing to the eject button. Which I painted red.
Stuck it out with the display systems.
It was a big hit.
Once got a tower system in. Ticket said âWonât read or eject disksâ
CD was fine, Called customer. âItâs eaten like 5 CDs and not ejected anyâ
Me: ???
Opened it up, and sure enough there was a pile of CDs sitting inside.
Customer was putting them in a thin space between the 5.25â face plates. Just like the slot feed CD in her car.
She was a bit embarrassed when I showed her the correct way to load a CD. But countered why it had to be different than her auto.
All the Best,
Jeff
Since we are doing tech tales, hereâs two more.
Sold a system to a fellow.
Few weeks later he brought it back.
Whatâs wrong?
It shuts off every now and them. Sometimes all by itself. But it shuts off every time someone flushes the toilet.
Me: ? OK, let me take a look.
Ran it for a few days, everything OK.
Went out to his place, and set it up the same way he had it.
Flushed the toilet, and sure enough the system went down.
Turns out the outlet the PC was using was on the same leg as the water well pump. Why it was wired this way I have no idea.
But when the pump kicked on there was enough of a sag in voltage to kick off the PC.
Ran an extension cord from a different outlet - problem solved.
==
Customer calls and complains the server I built them was going down sometimes during the evening.
This was a big customer and the server cost a pile of $$.
Took it to the shop over the weekend and ran it just fine.
Back to their place, and next week, they said it happened again. I made sure it was plugged into the UPS and the battery was charged.
Out of desperation, I stayed at their server room for two nights till late.
On the second night, a cleaning crew came in. Unplugged the UPS from the wall. Plugged in the vacuum. And started cleaning.
The vacuum covered the sound of the UPS screaming for help.
The plug for the UPS was the only easy to get to wall plug in the room.
Sometimes the UPS would last long enough to keep things running till they were done. Sometimes not.
The server room got locked after that.
Everyone except the management got a chuckle.
But I kept the account and sold them like 50 more systems before they decided to switch to HPs.
The IT guys said they were annoyed with my systems, cause they just didnât die and they wanted to replace them. This was said with some tounge in cheek.
Management wouldnât replace a functioning computer. Eventually the fan in the power supply would quit after growling for weeks. Then the PS would overheat and die. One of them that runs a door security system is still going strong (with a fan replacement). Itâs a 286 with 1024K of RAM and a 40Mb HD. DOS 5 I think.
All the Best,
Jeff
Gah, we actually had the exact same thing. Cleaning crew would unplug something to plug their vacuum in, usually a phone system remote unit. Same deal, we ended up putting locks on the doors.
Iâve been in IT for over 40 yrs and at my current job for over 30. About 20 years ago I found the site of ââThe Bastard Operator from Hellâ:http://bofh.bjash.com/â
(This is not the original link, but itâll do). It helped me get through some of the daily tediumâŚ
once I lied to my previous workmates and told them I was working in apple company, and then they asked me what did you do over there, I replied I was there to just bite apples
A guy was walking through the zoo one day. While in front of the gorilla cage he bent down to tie his shoe. He noticed through the corner of his eye that the gorilla had also bent down. Then when he stood back up he saw that the gorilla also stood back up. To see if it was a coincidence, he bent down to tie his other shoe and once again the gorilla bent down. He stood up and the gorilla stood up. After glancing over his shoulder to make sure that nobody else was around, the man jumped up in the air. And you guessed it, the gorilla jumped up. The man was getting a kick out of it. He started making faces at the gorilla and the gorilla would copy everything he did. Finally the man got next to the cage and pulled the lower lid of his right eye down. At this point the gorilla reached through the cage, pulled the guy in, beat the crap out of him, then threw him back out of the cage.
After hearing all the commotion, the zookeeper came running over to the man. âWhat on earth happened?â asked the zookeeper.
âI donât knowâ said the man. âHe seemed calm a second ago. I was jumping around and he was jumping around and he was doing every thing I was doing. Then all of sudden after I did this (pulls lower eyelid down) he got all mad and beat the hell out of me.â
âWell, no wonder!!!â exclaimed the zookeeper. âThat,â (pulls lower eyelid down) âmeans F⌠YOU in gorilla talk!â
The man decided to get even. He left the zoo but returned an hour later with a large shopping bag. After making sure that no one was watching, he started jumping around and the gorilla did the same. After a minute or two of this he grabbed the bag and pulled out two butcher knives and threw one of them into the cage. He lifted his knife over his head, and the gorilla grabbed the other knife and also lifted it over his head. After a minute of cutting the air with his knife and watching the gorilla do likewise, the man pulled a large salami out of the bag with his other hand and stuck it between his legs. With a sweeping motion of the knife, he whacked the salami in half.
The gorilla pulled down his lower eyelid.
That is a great joke!
:+1:
Dang, I remember that gorilla joke from like 40 years ago. Guess it gets around 