After 70.
Note to self:
Do not sit of the floor without first devising a plan to get back up…
All the Best,
Jeff
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .
“I’m sorry,” he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face,
“but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday…”
“Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
All the Best,
Jeff
Meh, it’s Fox News. You know it is gonna be fake. :sunglasses:
The other day I was falsely accused of throwing Samsung 30Q batteries at people ...
all the charges were dropped
Charges of… assault and battery?
Assault with Battery….
A salt with battery
He was charged with a violation of the penal code—but the evidence wouldn’t stand up in court.
Jesus was walking outside the gates of heaven and he sees an old man sitting on a bench…
He approaches the old man and asks… “good sir, why have you not entered heaven yet?”
The old man replies “I’m waiting for my son, he should be along soon.”
Jesus thinks for a second and asks “will you tell me of your son? Maybe I know of him.”
The old man sighs and says “Sadly, we lost touch when he was young… I know he was a carpenter like I was, I know he was quite famous and people followed him around. People told stories about him. They wrote a book about him and there was even talk of miracles…”
Jesus stood stunned… carpenter? miracles?.. He looked at the old man as tears swelled in his eyes…
“Dad?”
The old man rose slowly, tears running down his cheeks as he held out his arms and said
“Pinocchio?
3-pack:
1. Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards….Creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
2. I got the terrible news that Dad was pronounced dead. Can’t believe I’ve been saying it wrong this whole time.
3. What do you call a pair of identical boobs? Identitties.
Might be a repost:
Mouseover text: Her daughter is named Help I’m trapped in a driver’s license factory.
Good catch @CRC2, 
Years ago i worked with an old EE guy and everything was a double entendre with him. Only a EE like that could talk about big loads and stiffness and siemens with a straight face.
When building a circuit board, he wanted his power supplies stiffer than a wedding di*k, meaning add capacitance on the output side to filter and hold it up under a big load.
Been there. It exists.
I knew a girl in high school with the last name of Seaman.
She was quite attractive.
My last name is difficult to pronounce, even for our family, but we could have a much worse last name.
Raccoon Csteboke?
You win the internet! 