Ha maybe I’ve been hearing it since I was a kid. Credit to Mr Lynde then.
P.s. I used to work at the zoo circumcising elephants. It didn’t pay very well but I got some big tips
if your onion rings…answer it.
Here's an intelligent joke, for a change.
(I usually post stupid jokes.)
In Your Classroom
Ontology is way off to the left and geography is way off to the right.
Astronomy Status Board
Junior astronomers hate getting put on board update duty, but someone's gotta make sure that stuff is still up there.
Okay, I understood that one… 
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench.
One asks the other , do you ever get horny ?
She replies , yes I do sometimes.
The first one then asks , what do you do when you get horny ?
She replies , I suck on a life saver .
The first one thinks for a moment and then asks - Who drives you to the beach ?
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.
It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.
I came into my house, told my dog–we laughed a lot.
In my case it would have been:
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog.
It was obvious she thought her dog understood her.
I came into my house, told my cat–we laughed a lot.
I talked to your dog the other day and he swore he's never said a word to you ... and you're making it all up .
I trust a dog to tell the truth .. a cat would just ignore you . If interrogated they would just lie .
Many years ago I made my little brother swoller a flashlight.
It was so nice to see his little face light up.
First Time Since Early 2020
Gotten the Ferris wheel operator's attention
Nice one turkeydance! Funny, but true.
What the heck is the person on the chair pointing at?
A clock not in the picture?
And why everyone puts their masks back on…
“What the heck is the person on the chair pointing at?”
it is the number 1 in a countdown.
masks off in 1…2….3!
… When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
… A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
… When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
… The batteries were given out free of charge.
… A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
… A will is a dead giveaway.
… With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
… A boiled egg is hard to beat.
… When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
… Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
… Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
… A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
… When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
… The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
… He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
… When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
… Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
A Zen Buddhist goes to a hotdog vendor and says, “Gimme a hotdog with everything on it”.
A man walks into his psychiatrist office wearing nothing but saran wrap.
The Doctor looks up at him and says
I can clearly see your nuts !