I've had a "problem" (that I won't go into) for 9 or 10 years.
The problem might be something minor and easily fixable, or it could be something serious like cancer.
I do want to have my procedure so that my problem can be sorted out. 
I have a hose that feeds off the sink’s inlet and use it year round. The human bumcrack isn’t exactly sensitive to water temperature.
A careful rinse, then wash with some liquid soap from the sink, rinse again and dry up the whole kit. TP works, but I use my towel much more often.
Been doing this for years and haven’t ever gotten a chafe again, something I’m prone to getting even if I spend 30min wiping with pure dry TP.
Now the only place outside of home I ever take dumps at is the workplace, as I always take a quick shower before starting the grind.
Gonna try some improvision like a squirt bottle just to see for myself.
It really isn’t the same. I tried the same when I was first diagnosed with UC.
You can always try perineum sunning 
Go slowly 
I bring an empty plastic bottle and fill it up w water if I had to use public toilets
the cheap cold water one might work fine in warm climates and for people with no hair on their butt…
for those interested in a warm water rinse, with a Hair Dryer, here is the Upgrade:
https://www.amazon.com/Electronic-Cleaning-Hydroflush-Nightlight-Elongated/dp/B08YYNJMF1/
I can’t visualize the logistics of a hand held.
You mean where does it go when not in use? Usually hung somewhere near the toilet.
No, the actual use of a hand held seems awkward but maybe not. Do you use it from the front or back or both? Seems like a lot of leaning would be necessary.
And if pennzy means the use, lean forward. It gives the hose head easy access.
This hand held looks better than a seat the more I think of it.
Here is an option that adds a hose to the tub… so it can spray warm water
If you’re gonna go cheap, I would definitely get that RinseWorks model. Personally, I think the after-market, add-on toilet seat models are better…which is why they cost so much.
here is a list of best for 2022
here is one of the less expensive options ($42.50)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P2XZDGG
The add on seat models are better for the vertical sprayers but they all seem to constrict the seat size way down. Elongated size becomes small round size.
Interesting. I wasn’t aware of that. Then again, I’ve got a tiny butt.
I’ve been reading Amazon reviews too much
Yeah, you and me both. Just got done reading that NYmag link and clicking on the Amazon links. Then I noticed I already had like five or six bidets in my Amazon wish list.
I noticed similarities between generic and name brands if you get deep into the product pages. Some at a steep discount. Makes me wonder if I should buy the generic since it’s probably the same design for less money.