New(ish) members and FLAMING

[Lightbringer]

@Dougdimadome

Yeah, my apologies. I tried to vague as possible as to avoid the member seeing it and starting another petty argument.

Nah. Most of those types are just smash’n’grab posters. They don’t stick around once their immediate needs are met.

@Dougdimadome

As someone with little to no experience with software/hardware/modding I avoid adding my input in threads because I don’t know enough of a subject to add helpful feedback. As a new member I tend to google the terminology and stats first or look at previous comments from the thread to avoid redundant information. If all else fails I finally comment my problem or ask for help if youtube/google has no results.

Depends on the forum. Go “elsewhere” and you might be condescendingly ridiculed for not being an immediate expert. Here? Ask something which sounds silly on its surface, and people will generally be helpful and informative.

Granted, sometimes people will ask “whut’s a aspheric lens?”, and “GIYF” is an appropriate answer.

Ask what’s “flashing”, though, and yeah, that term’s vague and ambiguous enough that a quick goggling probably wouldn’t help without putting it in context… and hopefully not getting arrested for trying it.

[deleted-200707]

@Nev

She got big thighs.

reminds me of Beverly “Crusher” :person_facepalming:

[Nev]

@Lightbringer

@Dougdimadome

Yeah, my apologies. I tried to vague as possible as to avoid the member seeing it and starting another petty argument.

Nah. Most of those types are just smash’n’grab posters. They don’t stick around once their immediate needs are met.

@Dougdimadome

As someone with little to no experience with software/hardware/modding I avoid adding my input in threads because I don’t know enough of a subject to add helpful feedback. As a new member I tend to google the terminology and stats first or look at previous comments from the thread to avoid redundant information. If all else fails I finally comment my problem or ask for help if youtube/google has no results.

Depends on the forum. Go “elsewhere” and you might be condescendingly ridiculed for not being an immediate expert. Here? Ask something which sounds silly on its surface, and people will generally be helpful and informative.

Granted, sometimes people will ask “whut’s a aspheric lens?”, and “GIYF” is an appropriate answer.

Ask what’s “flashing”, though, and yeah, that term’s vague and ambiguous enough that a quick goggling probably wouldn’t help without putting it in context… and hopefully not getting arrested for trying it.

The next question would be ,what’s GIYF?
Best to spell it out , it’s a good job I’m so intelligent though because it only took me about 5 seconds to work it out , but not everyone is blessed like me

[raccoon]

GIYF = Google is your friend

(though I had to Google the acronym to figure it out.)

[Nev]

@raccoon city

GIYF = Google is your friend

(though I had to Google the acronym to figure it out.)

You already subconsciously knew it .

[teacher]

@Nev

The next question would be ,what’s GIYF? Best to spell it out , it’s a good job I’m so intelligent though because it only took me about 5 seconds to work it out , but not everyone is blessed like me

Amen mate!! . :+1: . :face_with_monocle: .

[Nev]

[teacher]

I came up with another word for “friend”…. … glad you all set me straight. .

[Nev]

[BlueSwordM]

LMGTFYOBLFVAOK

[teacher]

@Nev

:+1: :+1:

[pinkpanda3310 (Pinky)]

@Nev

Ps , sb is doing a fine job , we have no need for mods here.

I agree. I wasn’t implying we needed moderators. Mr Admin is everyone’s friend here so if we can help him….

@sb56637

“I’m the BLF admin, and I approve this message, or at least the OP.”

Thanks pinkpanda3310 for posting this, you bring up some good points.

On a positive note, I did notice recently that the majority of the participants in a large thread completely ignored the provocative posts of an obvious troll. As a result, he seems to have backed off, because he wasn’t getting a reaction. That’s the way it should work.

Woohoo! SB’s stamp of approval :innocent: As well as some positive feedback for everyone. That means sb’s teachings are sinking in.

@DavidEF

…. But I think it should be okay for ‘mature’ members to help ‘moderate’ others by gently reminding of the rules.

That pretty much happened in this thread.

@DB Custom

What would this thread be without BLF’s most talkative member?

Welcome back Dale! My condolences for your loss. I hope you come back with a fresh outlook…. and lots of good info and builds as per the DBCustom way

@e1000

I’m a relative newcomer here at BLF,…… Never felt unwelcome here

Probably because you were polite. As is Scallywag. Newbs are a constant on all forums. Not knowing something is not a character fault. How one (newb or not) interacts with other forums users is a good indication of ones character.

@Scallywag

I will also say that it is admirable and impressive to see some of our community being so kind in the face of vitriol aimed directly at them. I don’t know if I could be able to act as a role model in such circumstances. ….
So I think: If you see someone is being attacked, reach out to them. In PM or in the thread, address that person in a positive way, but don’t address the attacker. For the troll, click report.

I’ll make the assumption you’re talking about TK. I know I said I’d not name anyone but ToyKeeper is a force to be reckoned with. She is really good with words and has an uncanny ability to diffuse high tension situations/conversations. She gets a lot of love from this forum but most of it is gratitude. I’m sure she’d appreciate the occasional supportive comment. I don’t mean “you defended yourself well” or “you didn’t deserve that” but more along the lines of “You’re a really good person” because, well, in my view she is a really good person. And to boot she has a wit that puts us in giggles.

[Relampago]

Yeah, not quite sure how TK puts up with the crazies. She probably writes songs about them.

[BOO5TED]

@Lightbringer

Behave, or Mistress Helga will swat you into submission.

Be careful, some might actually like that lol.

[jf_smm]

I try to employ the reverse invisibility cloak method. If I see certain names/avatars I just keep scrolling until that excitable boy’s post is off the screen. *

This place is too useful to clutter it up with that crud.

*that said, there are very, very few of them.

[singularity35]

@Lightbringer

@Dougdimadome

I saw first hand about what you are talking about Lightbringer, if I remember it correctly it was a member who was working on a film and was trying to figure out a light that suited his needs.

I didn’t want to point specific fingers.

But among others, yeah.

Even little stoopit things, especially the “where can I get X?” queries. Okay, so you point to, say, Amazon, then get a snotty answer that amazon.mn doesn’t carry it, or anything, beside yak butter. (As in Mongolia, not Minnesota.)

Ooookay.

!

!

[Scallywag]

I think, in all honestly, that if I have the time to reply with "google it", then I also have the time to offer at least a sentence or two in explanation as well as probably a link to "further reading". Something like: "Not to be super technical, aspheric lenses are the rounded glass/plastic lenses on some flashlights that are used in place of other optics or reflectors on some lights. They can often produce very round, even illumination, or can essentially project the LED's image outward. They are in fact commonly used to do both in what we call "zoomie" lights. If you're looking for more information, you could google about "aspheric lens" or "aspheric lens flashlight", and you can also google for "zoomie flashlight". Always note that adding "site:budgetlightforum.com" to the end of a google search will give you BLF results :D"

It's not hard, and I'm personally bothered when I see the "google it" responses. I know that I personally have tried to google things in the past and been confused, so the assumption that a google search will answer a question could be hurtful.

Lightbringer, I agree that what you're describing sounds frustrating. I'll usually look at a user's sidebar info to think about location, but I sometimes forget or it could be blank. Perhaps on recommendation threads we should be first responding with questions, rather than answers based on incomplete information. Often, a newcomer to flashaholism will not know what information we need to best help them. I've had a few friends approach me about flashlights, knowing how I am. I begin with vague questions (one of the most important is always "what budget did you have in mind") like use case, how they think they'd like to carry it and/or how often, etc. and narrowing down to things like "If you think you'd like a zoomie, this is a solid option" and "this will get you the throw you said you want, but it kind of costs you this in a light, I'd recommend considering a compromise more like this" type of responses.

I know how easy it is to be frustrated by trying to help someone with incomplete information (I work tech support, among many other hats worn), but at least for BLF I try to put myself in the other pair of shoes. Also, lightbringer, I love knowing what your most recent favorite light is based on what you've been recommending lately ;)

Dale, it's good to see you easing back in to the forums here. You were missed. I'm excited to see what you do next. My perception of you is that you're never afraid to hot-rod anything, even lights that already started as hot-rods because you can do it more. It's refreshing and fun. And besides, you're always a welcome voice and a kind community member in threads here.

There was an earlier comment about growing thicker skin, and I did want to take issue with that. I don't think it's ever okay to tell someone what they can or can't be hurt by, and I especially think it's dangerous for a community to tell people to accept behavior that hurts them. As I said in my last post here, once good people start feeling hurt in a community, they start leaving. Then the community gradually shifts towards having more people that do the hurting, and less of those good people that were getting hurt. To me, that's a tragedy and something I'll always fight against.

[sb56637]

Really great to see you back here Dale! Sincerely sorry about the loss of your dad. And I truly hope that we can all make a concerted effort so that your experience here is more enjoyable from now on.

[Dougdimadome]

@Scallywag

There was an earlier comment about growing thicker skin, and I did want to take issue with that. I don’t think it’s ever okay to tell someone what they can or can’t be hurt by, and I especially think it’s dangerous for a community to tell people to accept behavior that hurts them. As I said in my last post here, once good people start feeling hurt in a community, they start leaving. Then the community gradually shifts towards having more people that do the hurting, and less of those good people that were getting hurt. To me, that’s a tragedy and something I’ll always fight against.

I think this is the first time I have seen someone in my short time here that has acknowledged that some people cant just “grow” thicker skin and again tell someone what they can or cant be hurt by. I’ve just seen the typical ignore it/them or tough it out. I have had social anxiety since I was very young and have worked very hard to where I am today to be “functional” and social with other people. Even posting anything here on this site or online with anonymity will give me anxiety because of what Ive seen in some threads where you have one uppers that will give you paragraphs upon paragraphs of evidence to counter what you said previously. That made me question, “if I post a genuine question about something I truly dont know, will this be how Im treated?” Dont get me wrong I understand proper criticism/feedback or evidence, but at one point it just seems that one is trying to prove that they are right and no longer have a proper conversation.

One simply cant tell a person to stop being depressed, that is not how it works. The same can be said here. At one point I was tempted to just stop viewing budgetlightforum and avoid it because in one popular thread people were simply, in my perspective were simply countering each point with evidence upon evidence and not really getting to a point in the argument, just throwing stuff around until it sticks. So far everyone here has been pleasant but deep in my gut I have a feeling that somewhere in the future the one post I make will attract that individual and just push me over the edge and make me quit going here.

Maybe this isn’t where this post belongs or in another place but I wanted to show some other perspective from a member of thousands here and give a view from those whose who cant help be sensitive from some comments that others deem to just “man up.” I really appreciate you Scallywag because you’ll fight for someone like me who gets discouraged from actual hurtful comments.

[Lightbringer]

@Scallywag

I think, in all honestly, that if I have the time to reply with “google it”, then I also have the time to offer at least a sentence or two in explanation as well as probably a link to “further reading”.

In one particular case, I did something like,

Too much to link here, so here ya go...

https://www.google.com/search?q=aspheric+lens

Gets the point across without sounding too much like a “RTFM!” response.

@Scallywag

It’s not hard, and I’m personally bothered when I see the “google it” responses. I know that I personally have tried to google things in the past and been confused, so the assumption that a google search will answer a question could be hurtful.

But that’s my point. Where there’s zero ambiguity, whether looking up “aspheric lens”, “Sofirn SP10”, whatever, why someone wouldn’t do what’s patently obvious, first, just eludes me.

Terms that have multiple meanings, like “flashing”, “driver”, etc., sure, I’ll give a more specific response.

@Scallywag

Lightbringer, I agree that what you’re describing sounds frustrating. I’ll usually look at a user’s sidebar info to think about location, but I sometimes forget or it could be blank. Perhaps on recommendation threads we should be first responding with questions, rather than answers based on incomplete information.

I do. “Whaddya gonna do with it?” is my first question. Pretty much always.

As for location, hey, if someone leaves it blank, or has a “cute” listing like “Mars” or “Nunya Bidniss”, for them to shoot down an answer which is trying to be helpful is just being an asshat. You want to know where to get X, you don’t list your location in the sidebar, you don’t list it in the query, fine, but then don’t bitch about an answer because shipping cost is too high or whatever. If you’re leaving it blank, I’m assuming that paying whatever cost to get it would be acceptable, and absolutely don’t leave a snotty answer like “I live in Z, duuuh” like I should magically just know.

That’s what grates on me. And frankly, getting burned like that is enough to turn me off from jumping in trying to help. Let others spin their wheels looking up things and then getting shot down. I’d save myself the effort.