I went on another job interview yesterday and the manager asked me
“ How do I see yourself 10 years from now ? “
I said …. “ a time machine “ .
Looking back on the interview I probably should have said ….a mirror .
Here’s an original joke by yours truly…
I train seeing eye dogs.
We haven’t had much business lately, so I’m telling everyone I meet to look directly at the eclipse. 
Eclipse Clouds
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i know a lot of jokes about unemployment,
but none of them seem to work.
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I lost a job once. Apparently someone else found it.
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A man opens his eyes and sees the devil, holding a clipboard. The devil says: you’re not on my list, why didn’t you step into the light? The man says: it was a bit too angry-blue for my taste…
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sometimes i feel like giving up, but then, i think what’s the use?
I was online looking at Walmarts website for something else … when I saw Purina dog chow in smaller bags
4.4 lbs
$16.14
91.7 ¢/lb
… “ Math is hard “
That guy must have worked at McDonald’s. The reference unit there is The Quarter Pounder.
A priest, a rabbi, and a sailor walk into a bar.
The sailor says: sorry guys, but I think I’m in the wrong joke.
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Driving PSA
This PSA brought to you by several would-be assassins who tried to wave me in front of speeding cars in the last month and who will have to try harder next time.
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Also known as The Gap Of Death…
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XKCD is so great!
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Ocean Loop
I can’t believe they wouldn’t even let me hold a vote among the passengers about whether to try the loop.
what color highlighter
does the CIA use?
black.
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Nice! 
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My mom read this joke online and shared it with me…
A pun walks into a bar and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten “ded.” 
When I tell the joke out loud, I have to pronounce the punchline strangely otherwise people don’t get the joke.
That’s why I spelled “dead” incorrectly.
If you just say “pun intended” it doesn’t seem to register.
You know a joke is good when the explanation is longer than the joke. 
The Terminator walks into Tech Noir. Says to the bartender, “Shots for everyone…”.
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