The Daily Joke Thread

Off-topic Chatter
2963

I have seen this punch line written differently:

1 Thank
2964

Thatā€™s so funny.


2965

joke/trick with rechargeable batteriesā€¦

3 Thanks
2966

Situation

Weā€™re right under the flight path for the scheduled orbital launch, but donā€™t worryā€“itā€™s too cold out for the rockets to operate safely, so Iā€™m sure theyā€™ll postpone.

2 Thanks
2967

4 Thanks
2968

I love this one! :+1:

1 Thank
2969

An Hispanic magician told his audience he would disappear on the count of three.

ā€œUno, dosā€¦ā€ poof, he was gone!

He had vanished without a tresā€¦

3 Thanks
2970

Olympic Sports

Thankfully for everyone involved, the Winter Olympics officials spotted me and managed to stop me before I got to the ski jump.

1 Thank
2971

Giggity.

The winner, thoughā€¦ :heart_eyes::eggplant::heart_eyes::eggplant::heart_eyes:

1 Thank
2972

Wow, I didnā€™t know that hobby horsing was an actual thing. :+1:

2973

since we are posting videosā€¦

2974

A raccoon a day keeps the doctor away.

Found it on Imgur.

1 Thank
2975

Chili Tornado Quake

Buildings constructed from softer materials were damaged by chili pepper impacts to the stormā€™s high Richter-Fujita-Scoville-Mohs hardness rating.

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2976

In a fit of rage I smashed my keyboard til all the keys popped off.

I guess you could say I lost Ctrl.

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2977

Someone broke into my house and stole my limbo barā€¦

I mean how low can you get ?

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Where do bumblebees go when they really have use the restroom?

To the BP station.

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Mike Lindell has a new pillow coming out in corduroy .

Itā€™s making all the headlines

1 Thank
2978

how does Deadpool think of such witty comebacks?
with great power comes great response ability.

2 Thanks
2979

Ferris Wheels

They left the belt drive in place but switched which wheel was powered, so people could choose between a regular ride, a long ride, and a REALLY long ride.

3 Thanks
2980

My wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl.
I replied, I didnā€™t know he could.

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2981

We hired a neighbors kid to come over and do some yard work yesterday. He showed up late and didnā€™t seem very interested.! ok whatever ā€¦ā€œyou get what you pay forā€ My wife was doing dishes and was watching him ā€¦so during the commercial of the football game I asked her ā€œWhatā€™s he been doing ā€œ??
She said he keeps picking up handfuls of sticks and leaves .
Iā€™m gonna fire that kid .

2982

I canā€™t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

I M LIVID.

4 Thanks